My Other Family & a Grinch's Heart...

Psalm 68:6a God places the lonely in families;

This verse was quoted to me by two different friends in the past couple weeks. God was preparing me, showing me His promise before fulfilling it. That doesn't happen very often. Most of the time, I only see the promise in hindsight. Perhaps that's my own lack of insight. Perhaps He's trying to show me each time and I've been too self-focused to see it. But I wished I would have paid more attention.

Anyway, onto my story...

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I will admit that I've felt a bit Grinchy. My heart may even have shrunk. (Ironically, it's my favorite Christmas show.) Knowing that for the first time in twenty-eight years I was not going to be spending Christmas with my family put me in a dour mood. And though I had received an invitation for Christmas Day, I was still moping and wishing Christmas would just pass me by this year.

Christmas Eve started out as just another day. Ran some errands, started some house-cleaning, talked on the phone... And as always time slipped away. I had been waiting for some ingredients for a dessert I was making for Christmas dinner to warm to room temperature, as the recipe insists. I realized it was time to get ready and go to church, for I had been asked to help corral the kids before the service. Rushing out the door, I realized I was heading to a Christmas Eve service. And I didn't really want to go. I didn't want to think about Christmas. So, after helping with the kids, I hung out in the back of the auditorium watching the activity on stage, but not really partaking. Then came the candle-lighting. I politely turned down a candle, just watching as people passed the flame on to each of the people next to them. Then our pastor's son shoves a candle in my hand and lights the wick before I can protest. Though this act made me smile, it still did not help this Grinch's heart to grow.

Afterwards, I was preparing to quietly slip out the door. Just wanted to double-check dinner plans for Christmas day. But Jeanne, whose home I would be invading the next day, insisted that I come to their home that night as well. In fact, she was going to ride with me. So, I went. And I will admit, I had a good time just sitting around the table and talking. Perhaps my heart warmed a bit that night, but it was to all come crashing down.

The next morning, Christmas day, after only about five hours of sleep, I awoke and continued with my desserts for dinner that evening. Called my family, of course, and listened in as they opened their gifts and tasted our traditional breakfast of Monkey Bread and cocoa. After hanging up the phone, I went back to preparing the desserts. And it all fell apart. Literally. As I was removing cakes from pans, objects from the fridge, you name it, it fell and broke or bruised me or burnt me or whatever. I lost it. This was a miserable, horrible day and I wanted to crawl back in bed and make it disappear. I fell to the side of my bed, tears freely flowing, cries of anger and despair radiating from my mind. Nothing was going well and I was not where I wanted or felt I needed to be. I contemplated calling Tom & Jeanne and canceling. I was not a person anyone wanted to be around that day.

But, God was there. He quieted my heart and spoke words of kindness to me. He reminded me of the verse written above and I knew I needed to go. Standing up, I dried my eyes and went back into the kitchen and set about remaking what I could and patching up the rest.

I arrived to their house mid-afternoon. The day went quickly from there with games of pool, a scrumptious meal, and wonderful conversation. (And a quick phone call from a dear friend.) Jonny, Tom & Jeanne's son, and I easily fell into bantering each other as though we were siblings. Friendship and love was passed along to all from all. And the evening ended with a game of Scattergories that brought roaring laughter that knocked us out of our seats and caused tears to stream down our faces. I had not felt part of a family since moving to Nashville since mine (both my actual family and my DM family) is so far away. But this family welcomed me as part of their own. And for that I am forever grateful.

It will not be a Christmas I quickly forget. For this Grinch's heart grew more than just two sizes that day. It sprung forth with joy and love that had been forgotten. For each time we are lonely, God does just as He promises. He places us in families. They may be a bit unconventional, perhaps a hodgepodge of characters. But if we look around us, they are there. Each one needed for a particular time in life, some to carry us throughout. To each of my families, including my newest other family, I wish you all Love this Merry Christmas & a Blessed New Year!

For Football Fans...

For all my friends and family out there that are football fans: Pictures from a week and a half ago at the Titans vs. Chargers game...

Holiday Travel...

Wrote this while sitting in the St. Louis airport the day before Thanksgiving on my way home. Just forgot to post...)


It is coming to my realization that a lot of my travel here on out, especially to visit home, will be on or near a holiday. My first trip home after moving to Nashville was over Labor Day weekend. This, my second trip, is during the Thanksgiving holiday. The next projected trip for me will be sometime near Memorial Day. This, of course, is when many other travelers are also embarking on their journeys.

Now, I may not be the most seasoned traveler. I have not traveled to as many places as many people or have flown as much as many businessmen, but I’ve traveled enough to know the rules and some of the short cuts. I am mostly referring to the rules of flying. The safety regulations aren’t that difficult to figure out. And if you have a question, it is easy enough to find the answer. (www.tsa.gov) Why then do people approach the security checkpoints seemingly clueless?

This morning, while standing in the security line at the Nashville airport, I witnessed the ridiculously clueless: The man in front of me literally had to get half undressed just to make it through. First he had to unpack some things from his two different bags, one of them almost being too large to be considered carry-on. Then he had to remove his jacket, his sweatshirt and his cowboy boots. Then he started toward the metal detector. He was called back to remove his cowboy hat and send it through on the belt. Then, just as he turned to go, the lady called to him to remove his belt, as it had too much metal on it (ie. belt buckle and metal stars). As you can imagine, this caused some delays in the forward motion of the line. The lady behind me was getting irritated, or so I would assume from her many exasperated sighs. I just watched the whole spectacle with amusement.

This gentleman is not the first person I’ve witnessed causing hitches in the passage. Many travelers seem to either not know or don’t care. It’s fine if they want to push the limits, but don’t disrupt my path. Don’t cause delays for others around you. And don’t get upset because you’ve been irresponsible.

So, here are a few tips from a fellow traveler: 1) Wear shoes that are easy to get in and out of, not boots or tennis shoes that you have to shove or tie. 2) Don’t wear bulky clothing. If you need to have a jacket, sweatshirt or coat with you, take it off before you get to the line and place it in a bin. 3) If there is anything that must be removed from your carry-on such as a laptop or liquids, have them easy to grab and ready to pull. 4) Have your liquids, creams, gels already in a plastic bag before you get to security- how about before you even get to the airport. And DON’T bring a drink, you are not going to get it past. 5) Don’t wear clothing items that are going to cause problems such as cowboy hats and belt buckles. 6) Have your ticket and id at the ready until you are through check-in and security. 7) If possible, check-in online before you go to the airport. This speeds up your processing time considerably. 8)And lastly, and what I feel to be most important, look the TSA and airline officials in the eye and say “Thank you” or “Have a nice day” or “Happy Holiday”. In my limited experience, they seem to appreciate this. (And I have yet to be stopped at security- I must just have a trusting face. Hee Hee!)

Life on a rollercoaster...

Lately, I have felt as though I am riding a rollercoaster. I know everyone's lives feel this way at times, but mine has been extreme, tiresome and especially irksome recently. I would enjoy a good dose of steadiness. My high points, naturally, crest on the weekends as I'm with friends and acquaintances that lift my spirits and keep me active. My low points dip lower and lower throughout the week as I dredge through work and empty nights.
Last week I was taken for a loop. Holiday family issues arose as we were planning my trip home for Thanksgiving. Although, this should not be a surprise. But then, as my grandpa celebrated his 74th birthday, he was taken to the hospital because he couldn't breathe. He is still there. They have run a battery of tests and have not found anything concrete. He is still unable to breathe properly on his own. On top of that, the hospital can't seem to regulate his diabetes. It almost seems they are hurting him more than helping him. My grandpa and I are very close. And I can't be there with him.
I suppose I should be enjoying my rollercoaster. They are meant to be exciting. I suppose if I had the steadiness I now desire I would feel as though I were stagnant. The grass is always greener...isn't it.

L'espérance est le songe d'un homme éveillé.
Hope is the dream of a waking man. –Aristotle
(Quote listed on French Word-A-Day)

I just might stay...

I took a major step (for me) in establishing myself in the community last night. I got a library card. And this has brought a new weight of responsibility. I am now a resident of Davidson County and in the neighborhood of the Edmonson branch. Of course I do already have a Tennessee driver's license and Tennessee plates and am registered to vote here. But my anonymity had stayed intact. I didn't feel anonymous anymore after last night. I felt eyes peering at me around every corner. Felt them boring straight through my pretense. I was uncomfortable, to say the least. I know, I know...it sounds ridiculous. Of course, no one was really paying attention to me beyond the occasional glance as I moved past them. Yet, I still couldn't shake the feeling of being naked in a room full of people. So, I suppose if I'm going to expose myself to the local populace, I might as well stay.

To leave off with a quote, something befitting (quoted on French-Word-A-Day blog):
...quelquefois...mon esprit joue, et quelquefois je ris et fais la moue...
...sometimes...my mind plays, and sometimes I laugh and pull a face (pout)...
--from "Oeuvres de Scarron," by Paul Scarron

Thoughts of now...

I know I haven't blogged for awhile- sorry about that. I've sat in front of a blank computer screen several times with the intention of writing, but I've struggled to compile coherent thoughts. Sometimes with writers' block you have to push through. So, that's what I am doing.

While bored at work the other day I started doing odd quizzes, personality tests, etc. This was one I thought was fun and interesting and mostly true (even though I usually don't celebrate Halloween):

What Your Halloween Habits Say About You

A bit of an introvert, you like the special occasions just as much as everyone else. You just have your own unique way of celebrating Halloween. Sneaky and devious, people should really watch out for you. You are usually underestimated and forgotten. Your inner child is curious, brainy, and maybe even a little gross. You truly fear the dark side of humanity. You are a true misanthrope. You're logical, rational, and not easily effected. Not a lot scares you... especially when it comes to the paranormal. You are a traditionalist with most aspects of your life. You like your Halloween costume to be basic, well made, and conventional enough to wear another year.

What's Your Halloween Personality?

I have started taking a class. I am hoping this class will not only help me gain a new skill, but also a renewed sense of freedom and purpose. Perhaps it will help pull me out of the doldrums...

I have been running into a LOT of brick walls lately (figuratively, not literally). This has brought feelings of confusion and hurt. I realize that most everyone goes through this at some point. I am tired of feeling this way.

I am living in a life of squalor (very much not like me). I seem to have lost my fervor for organization.

Despite many, MANY frustrations as of late, God is still good. He brings encouragement when I feel despondent. Lights of hope when I have lost my way. Warmth of His presence when I am alone.

I will leave you with a quote from another blog that seems appropriate:
"That's part of what keeps us going, I suppose, routines and love and stupid, foolish hope that we won't really destroy the very thing that enables our existence." The Wednesday Chef- October 22, 2007

TV Premieres and My Dilemma...

This week is Premiere week for almost every major television network. This week makes me giddy. I love to watch season premieres of my favorite returning shows and the series premieres for new shows. I don't watch all of them; I pick and choose what I think I will like best. This year I decided to do a little research before the start of the fall season. During my long, boring hours of sitting at a desk with nothing to do, I watched the previews for all the new shows. Several have caught my eye.

Monday- Chuck on NBC, thought it was somewhat funny. Will give it another try.
Big Bang Theory on CBS, was laughing out loud! Especially like the tall, skinny guy.
K-Ville on Fox, wasn't going to watch this one, but found it while flipping through. Have seen 1 1/2 episodes now and kinda like it. But it's another cops-on-the-edge (of the law) show. I don't think I'll be loyal to this one, but may catch it now and again.

Tuesday- NCIS on CBS, been a loyal watcher since the beginning, though I'm not too sure about some of the new twists. Guess I'll have to just keep watching.
Bones on Fox, also been a loyal watcher since the beginning, but I'm frustrated about it changing to Tuesdays (see dilemma below)
House on Fox, I catch this one now and again, though I don't like that they got rid of his team...it feels weird.
Reaper on CW, this show is HILARIOUS!!! Lovin' It!

Wednesday- Bionic Woman on NBC, really liked the pilot; but then I always like shows where girls get to kick a little bootie!
Life on NBC, wasn't planning to watch this one, but caught part of the pilot and my curiosity was piqued. May watch again.
Dirty, Sexy, Money on ABC, not a show I plan to watch. I just can't handle all that drama!

Thursday- Only the greatest night on Television!
SURVIVOR on CBS, liking the miserable conditions in China and like the idea behind going with exactly the clothes on your back, but don't like the outcome. (EW!)
CSI on CBS, always a good show, good carry-over premiere from last season.
My Name is Earl on NBC, not sure where this jail thing's gonna go or for how long. Could get kinda boring.
The Office on NBC, was very excited about Jim & Pam, but this show is part of my major dilemma- see below.
Big Shots on ABC, love the fact that you've got Dylan McDermott AND Michael Vartan, but seeing just part of this show has left me feeling dirty and sorta disgusted.

Friday- Obviously haven't seen these yet, but most are returning...
Numb3rs on CBS, another show I've been loyal to since the beginning. I enjoy David Krumholz and the start of this season looks to be exciting.
Las Vegas on NBC, yet another show I've watched since the beginning and this show is lovingly known as Los Wages to my favorite former roommate Kalee and I- I watch this show in memory of our roomie nights.
Women's Murder Club on ABC, looks very intriguing and again, women are kickin' some bootie!
Moonlight on CBS, it's a vampire show!!! Anyone who knows me should guess that I'd watch this one.

Shows yet to Air- 30Rock on NBC, this show makes me laugh
New Amsterdam on Fox, looks exciting.
Life is Wild on CW, I'm hoping for a family show.
Supernatural on CW, I'll have to wait for the DVDs...

Ok, so I know this shows how utterly non-existent my social life is right now, but what's a girl to do in a big new city without her beloved friends? (Although, I'd be watching TV with them in DM.)

On to my dilemma: a couple of weeks ago as I was rewinding a tape (VHS) that I had been watching, my VCR began to make some not-so-good noises. Then it wouldn't eject my tape. Needless to say, that tape was eaten by the machine and another after it. It was suggested to me that it just needed to be cleaned. So, I took off the cover and proceeded to thoroughly and carefully clean all the heads. With the cover still off, I tried another tape. Much to my disappointment, I sat watching as my VCR was unable to play the tape. Two pieces were broken. I did all that I could, but had to concede defeat. This began my shopping extravaganza.

I looked online, in stores, read reviews and talked to people. I gathered as much info as I could. Of course, you can't buy just a VCR anymore, you can only buy them in DVD combos. Realizing how quickly this form of technology was becoming obsolete, I thought it would be best to get a DVD recorder/VCR combo so I can transfer my many videos to DVD. (Hey, it'll take up less space too!) With the intention to buy, I entered a store. I wanted to make the best purchase possible. As I stood looking at the selections, a store employee approached me to help. After a brief discussion, I was very disappointed to discover that though I may purchase one of these machines, it would be useless with my old analog (I believe this is the correct term) TV. Everything is digital these days and he said there wasn't a converter.

So, I am stuck with no way to tape shows on television. This means I can't see in complete many of the shows that I have been loyal to since their beginnings as I am forced to flip between multiple channels. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays have changed from fun TV nights to frustrating. And my Lifegroup meets every other Friday night, so I'll miss shows then too.

I realize I will survive and and will probably be better for it. This is all just sad commentary on my currently droll life...

My Mis-Adventure in downtown Nashville...

This past Friday night I was all set for my first night-time excursion to downtown Nashville...or so I thought. A friend from Iowa was playing with a band at a place called 12th and Porter. I tried to do as much research before that night as I could. I read about the band, I searched information about the location and even directions. The one thing I missed though- parking. I'm not sure what I was thinking (or if I even was).

As I approached the venue area, I began scanning the surrounding lots and areas for a relatively safe and close parking space. I followed the flow of traffice into a lot just around the corner from my final destination. It was a parking lot with numbered spaces and a high chainlink fence topped with barbed wire. That should have been my first clue or red flag. But this night my mind was somewhere else, absorbed in thoughts of the evening.

I entered the venue, only to find it was a bar with very few people. I noticed some people going through another doorway and inquired whether the band would be performing through there. The answer I received was affirmative, from a small creepy man I might add. So, I paid my cover and walked through the doorway into an almost completely empty room. There was a stage set with musical equipment, a sound booth area at the back and there was a bar on the side. But there were only two other people there. I started to have second thoughts about this venture.

I was to learn later that concerts on this particular stage generally start an hour after the appointed time. So, eventually other people began pouring through the door. This included a friend from church that was a fan of the groups playing and knew people in each. At long last, the show began and I enjoyed the live music immensely. It has been a long time since I've been to a concert.

A little after 11 pm, the music was still going strong, but my friend and I both decided to leave. (We were actually in the back yawning, despite our enjoyment of the music.) We said good-bye to our performing friends and made our way outside. We bade each other adieu and went to our cars in opposite directions. As I approached the entrance to the lot where my car was parked a feeling of dread washed over me. For inhibiting my path was a large gate that had been chained and padlocked to the fence. This was not the kind of gate you could climb over, at least not easily, it was an extension of the fence. I looked to my right and to my left, hoping for an opening I may have earlier missed. There was none I could see. I quickly called my friend (before she could drive too far from the area) and explained my dilemma. Please note that we were not in the best neighborhood. She came around the corner and I climbed into her car. We drove all around the lot searching for anything: an opening, a sign with a name or a phone number, anything other than the giant NO PARKING sign I had evidently overlooked before. One relief through all of this was that my car was still there.

After doing all we could think of with our sleep-deprived minds, we finally accepted defeat and she drove me back to my apartment. She tried to offer words of comfort and encouragement. She even offered some names and phone numbers of people I could call to get a ride the next day (she was going to be out of town). I slowly walked into my home and climbed into bed. I couldn't sleep. All I could think of was my poor car feeling deserted in that lot. Needless to say, I only slept about 2 hours that night.

The next morning I called my parents seeking comfort and wisdom. Though in all honesty, there was nothing they could do or say. I ended up calling a taxi and riding with a man from India (I know this from the India flag prominently displayed) back to that not-so-safe neighborhood hoping and frantically praying that the gate would be open and my car would be there. God heard my prayers that morning, for there in the budding sunlight sat my car behind a wide-open gate. I paid the cabbie and almost ran to my car. Relief washed over me as I heard my locks click open and I climbed into the driver's seat. I kissed the steering wheel in appreciation and promised my precious car that I would clean her soon...I have been neglecting her lately.

All in all, everything turned out alrigh and it was some good lessons learned and only cost me a $30 cab ride. But I will probably think twice before accepting my next invitation to downtown Nashville.

At Home in Iowa...

Last weekend I spent back in my homestate of Iowa. I know most people don't think much of Iowa, but it is my home. Though I really like living in Nashville, and look forward to my future here, Iowa will always be my hometown. I loved seeing and catching up with so many people I love. I know I didn't get to see everyone, but please know that I love all of you very much and miss you. I will be coming back at Thanksgiving- so if you're going to be around, let me know. Below are a few pictures I took on my way to the airport to remind me of green, soybeans and corn. (If they are blurry, it's because I took them from the car while it was moving.) Love to Iowa and Love to all my friends and family there.

I'm a Purple Crayon...

You Are a Purple Crayon

Your world is colored in dreamy, divine, and classy colors. You hold yourself to a sky high standard, and you are always graceful. People envy, idolize, and copy you without realizing it. You are an icon for those who know you. And while it is hard to be a perfectionist, rest assured it's paying off! Your color wheel opposite is yellow. While yellow people may be wise, they lack the manners and class needed to impress you.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Iowa...That's where the tall corn grows!

If you didn't know, that is the last line of the Iowa official state song. And yes, sadly, I know all the words as I had to sing it in high school. But this song has been playing through my mind, along with the Io-way song from State Fair the musical, as I prepare to journey back to my homestate. That's right, I'm coming back to Iowa- but just for a visit. Next week I will board a plane to traverse approximately 650 miles across several states all just to say HI to people I love and have missed for these past six months. For those of you I haven't talked with yet, if you want to get together, let me know. Hope to see you there!!!

Blog thoughts & other thoughts...

You might have noted some subtle changes to my blog, including the title. Well those changes came around when I decided to Google the title of my blog to see how far down the list it was. (The little things I do to entertain myself at work...) What came up were WAY TOO MANY blogs named "Notes from Nashville"! I don't like to be like everyone else. I wanted something unique! So, after much deliberating and the creation (and obviously obliteration) of several ideas, I settled on my title matching my address. Afterall, it is logical. And when I googled it, the only thing that really came up was some obscure intimation to a poem.

The stars were only because I liked them.

As I was making these changes, I realized that I hadn't really blogged about what's been happening with me lately. Of course, I've talked about what I've done or where I've gone, what things I've acquired or knowledge gained. But I haven't shared about me. So, here it goes... my attempt to dig a little deeper and perhaps expose some dirty corners...

DISCLAIMERs: Thoughts may be random or not fully explained. Rabbit trails may ensue. All thoughts may not be suitable for children.

As I look at a picture of a duck on my desk (supposed to be serving as a reminder to let things roll off my back like water off the back of a duck), I want to say life is just ducky. But I don't fully know what that means or if I could really call it that. If it implies that life is good, I would have to ask you what your definition of "good" was. There are good things and there are not so good things. I try to focus on the good, but there are definitely days that the not so good overwhelm me. Unfortunately, especially lately, there seem to be more of those days. Many times when I've looked over the past few months, the image that has come to mind is of a hamster in a ball on a treadmill. I'm running and running but not actually getting anywhere.

Patience is a virtue that I generally lack. About a year ago, I remember praying for patience. Be careful what you wish for. God is teaching me patience. I want results now for the things I've been praying for and searching for. He still says I need to wait. I hate waiting...

I am learning to accept my circumstances whatever they may be, however frustrating. You never know the purpose they may hold later on. You can never be sure whom God has anointed to play a certain role. Even those that may throw spears at you... (Gene Edwards, A Tale of Three Kings)

I have decided that I really want a tattoo. Actually, this is not a recent phenomenom, I've wanted one for many years. In fact, I've been fascinated with them ever since I saw my uncle's marine bulldog on his arm when I was a little girl. I think I know what I want, I'm just not quite sure where to put it...

There is a pastor at the church I'm attending. In fact he teaches the Bible study I'm in. He is an incredible guy. I think we think on similar wave lengths, except his is so much higher than mine. I wish I could crawl around in his brain for awhile. I believe there are vast storages of knowledge yet to be tapped.

I have come to understand the full meaning of the word tired- or at least I think I have. Because I'm not just physically tired. I'm physically exhausted (not sleeping well does that to you), but I'm also mentally drained, emotionally played out and spiritually debilitated. I "do" so much less than I used to, and seem to have so much less to give. Maybe the ol' adage is true: The more you give the more you receive...?

I think I am learning the meaning of "all or nothing". When God says to lay our burdens down, He doesn't just mean one or two- He means EVERYTHING! And if you say, "Here I am. Send me." That doesn't mean just part of you- that means ALL of you.

I miss music. Truly hearing it. Performing it. Experiencing it.

There is a rebel that lives inside of me. I've always known of her existence. Most of the time I try to keep her locked up and squelch her influence. Sometimes she breaks free and wreaks havoc on the order in my life. I wish there was a way for them to happily co-exist. For neither to be squelched or held back. For both to live to their fullest potential. I'm not talking about ultimate evil versus good, just a bit of rebellion with the heavenlee...

Bad Yankee...

So, today I found out that I am a bad Yankee...at least for now. Let me explain: This sweet little ol' lady comes by our office at least twice a day and stops to say hi. Today she had her young (appx. 10 years old) grand or maybe even great-granddaughter with her and she announced, dripping with Southern drawl, that the poor thing was a Yankee. Of course, being the only other Yankee around, I spoke up that there was nothing wrong with being a Yankee. Then the sweet little ol' lady said it depended on whether I was a good Yankee or a bad Yankee. Then she recited this:

There are Good Yankees
and there are Bad Yankees
The Good Yankees go back home
But the Bad Yankees just stay

So, at this point in time I must resign myself to the fact that I am a Bad Yankee. Maybe someday I'll be able to redeem myself...

Six Month Statistics...

Next week is my six month anniversary of moving to Nashville- can you believe it? I can't! I thought I would share a few stats:

• purchased 23 books on countless visits to Borders, Barnes & Noble or Amazon.com: most recently Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell; The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus; Split Ends by Kristin Billerbeck; No Compromise: The Life Story of Keith Green by Melody Green & David Hazard; and of course Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling



• gained vast amounts of knowledge through many hours of reading 19 books and have now started another 3: Uprising by Erwin McManus; The Nanny Diaries by Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus; The Vampire Lestat by Anne Rice



• spent money for bills on 12 movies and 3 seasons of Friends



• rented more than 50 dvds and have another appx. 340 in my Blockbuster queue



• have been to the movie theatre by myself 5 times for some very important cultural entertainment: Pirates 3, Oceans 13, Transformers, Harry Potter 5, No Reservations



• purchased 9 pieces of furniture including a cozy couch and a convenient washer & dryer



• traveled out of the state twice since moving



• have visited 3 tourist attractions in the state



• lost 10 pounds- yeah!


• gained 10 pounds back- boohoo!


• lost 10 pounds again- hey, at least I'm in the good here!



• added 5 pieces of art (4 of which are prints) and 1 decorative mirror and only have 3 hung as I ran out of wall space



• expanded my technical capabilities by purchasing a laptop computer and digital camera: though I don't feel savvy at all



• attended 2 different singles groups: one hot, one not so hot



• have ruthlessly killed too many spiders and cleared too many webs: call me cruel if you want, I don't like spiders



• HAVE MISSED MY FRIENDS & FAMILY FOR 172 DAYS!!! (Give or take a day)

Horsin' Around...

Well, to continue with the saga of my weekend with Tracy... Part of our day Sunday was spent at a well-known tourist destination known as the Wildhorse Saloon. We were not there for very long, and it was in the middle of the afternoon when there wasn't much going on, but we still had fun. The staff was entertaining at times! Here are a few pictures to share...

Horsin' around has a whole new meaning when you discover horses on the ceiling!


I think this one is obvious. I took it for Tracy's cousin. They also had one with a cowgirl, but I didn't get a good picture of that one.


There are many such horses throughout the saloon, but I liked this one best.


This is outside the saloon, as you approach.


If I could dance, I would dance for food too!

Warning! Spoilers ahead...

If you are planning to read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and don't want the ending spoiled- READ NO FURTHER! There, you have been dutifully warned!

Well, to first start off, I made the mistake of not starting the book until late Sunday afternoon and of course could not tear my eyes away once I had began. I'm not a very fast reader, only averaging about 50 pages per hour...so you do the math. I was up until 5 am (of a Monday, no less) reading. Tried to get an hour sleep before I had to get ready for work, but after all that excitement (and the tears), who can sleep! Needless to say, despite the triple-shot Starbucks I am chugging down, I'm quite tired.

As for the book itself, I would like to brag, so bear with me: I WAS RIGHT, I WAS RIGHT! Sometimes, I swear it's no fun being me, I always guess the ending of the book or the movie well before it's over. Anyway, for those of you I have had discussions about predictions for this book, you may recall that I predicted that Harry himself would be a Horcrux, that he would have to sacrifice himself to kill Voldemort and that Snape would in fact be good. Now, despite the accuracy of my predictions, the book was still thrilling, sometimes surprising and yes, I will admit that I cried at key points, and I'm glad that Harry and his friends are able to go on to live happy lives.

Any disappointments, you may ask? Well, for me the greatest disappointment was the epilogue. For me it was completely unnecessary other than for Rowling to give it more finality. I was happily content to imagine for myself all of them going off, getting married and living "happily ever after". Rowling stole every reader's opportunity to imagine the glorious lives of our beloved characters that carry on after their suffering. Her ending was too mundane, for me. Though I too would have imagined similar situations for our "friends", I feel robbed of being able to see their future for myself.

All in all, I enjoyed the book thoroughly. I look forward to some point in the future returning to the halls of Hogwarts through the pages of these books reliving once again the harrowing tales of some wonderful characters. And of course through the movies that are yet to come...

I know Jack _____...

This was a prevalent phrase, with various endings, that graced many of the souvenirs in downtown Lynchburg, TN. Tracy and I decided to venture on the Spirits and Wine Trail of Tennessee Tourism to visit several distilleries and wineries in the Middle Tennessee area. We ended up only visiting two of the five... one winery was closed for the "holiday weekend", we decided one whiskey distillery was enough, and we got lost and then couldn't find the rum distillery. But we did get a tour of the famous Jack Daniel's distillery of Lynchburg, TN, and we visited the cute and tasty Beans Creek Winery of Manchester, TN.


Our first stop was Lynchburg. The visitor's center was beautiful. The tour itself was fun and very informative- I would recommend it to anyone! The interesting thing- the only Jack Daniels you are actually able to buy in ALL of Lynchburg are the expensive registered bottles that you never open. Lynchburg and the distillery are in a dry county! In fact, (if I heard things right on the tour) the only reason Jack Daniels was able to reopen after prohibition is because they got special government permission. And do you know why the government gave them permission? Jack Daniels single-handedly pays the government over $20 million in liquor taxes every year! Enjoy the pictures!

Did you know Jack Daniels died by almost literally "kicking the bucket"? Actaully it was a safe, this safe. He got mad because it wouldn't open one day and he kicked it. Infection set in and turned gangrene, he lost his toe, then his foot, then his leg and eventually his life.


This is the first stop on the tour. These are the giant furnaces that burn the wood that makes the charcoal that purifies the alcohol that gives Jack it's flavor.


Luckily for us, just down from the furnaces was the firehouse. These antique fire engines used to save the day anytime there was a fire.


This picture is for my friend Ryan- he likes to take pictures of car emblems. I liked this one from the fire engine and wanted to share it with him.


This is a cave where you can see some of the runoff from the spring that provides ALL of the water for Jack Daniels. That is why Jack is ONLY made in Lynchburg, TN, they use this mountain spring water.


After the grain is delivered (Yeah Midwest!) it is brought into the still.


Then it is put into giant fermenting vats.


Where it ferments and ferments- it's even grosser in person and smells like vomit!


At some point it is put through the charcoal purifying process, twice. At this point, if memory serves, it is double its sold strength, around 140 proof (might be off on that number). At this point though, it smells amazing!


Then it is aged in special barrels stored in the barrel house. This picture does not do justice to the size of this place, and it's not the only one. It is three stories high with barrels lined up and stacked with just enough room to walk. This is where the tasters work, making sure that each barrel lives up the the great name of Jack Daniels. Wouldn't that be a fun job!


This is a stamped barrel.


Finally, it is bottled, packaged and shipped to stores where us lucky patrons can enjoy!


Our tour ended in the saloon at the visitor's center where only lemonade is offered. But we did get to see the Jack Car!


Later we stopped at the Beans Creek Winery. They have a cute little gift shop and then an area for tasting. We had lots of fun and both of us made extravagent purchases, though this magnet was my favorite, I think...


We finished off the evening back in Nashville by enjoying a delicious and entertaining dinner at Carrabba's Italian Grill. The food was savory. But our entertainment made the evening. We sat at their pizza and pasta bar- right in front of their cooks. We sat at the end right in front of the pizza grill- which they have the fire pit for. Next to him was the salads and desserts guy. We had fun watching them work- then at the end of our meal, the dessert guy brought us free dessert! It was a great finale to a wonderful day!

Seeing my city...

This past weekend, my friend Tracy, along with her mom and cousin, came to Nashville for vacation. They took me all around the city with them on Sunday. And on Saturday, Tracy and I went to Lynchburg and Manchester. I had so much fun and got to see a lot of the city (and some of the state) I now call home. This blog, and a couple more blogs to come will chronicle our adventures!

These are murals and signs in downtown Nashville.







This is the BellSouth Tower, affectionately known as the "Bat Tower", though this angle doesn't show off it's "bat" ears.


This is the Nashville Hard Rock guitar with LP Field (Home of the Titans) in the background.


That's all for now...continue watching for Horsin' Around and I Know Jack _______, both soon to come!

My Way or Yahweh...?

When I was in junior high, our church did a children's musical. I played the role of the High Priestess and sang a song entitled "My Way or Yahweh", forcing the king to make a decision between my magical ways and those of Yahweh- or God. To this day, that song has stuck with me for different reasons. (And it doesn't help that my dad likes to quote the title whenever my stubborn streak decides to spark!)

I've been attending a bible study at the church, looking into the lives of Jacob's family. Yesterday, this song was brought to mind again by something our pastor said in our bible study- (not exact quote) we need to be sure that we are not doing God's Will our way. In other words, the end does not justify the means; we need to not get in the way of God's plans for us; we need to stop trying to make things happen. He used the example of Jacob and Rebekah fooling Isaac into giving his blessing to Jacob instead of Esau. Yes, that may have been God's ultimate desire and plan as was prophesied to Rebekah in Genesis 25:23, but if they had been patient, wouldn't God have provided a plan that didn't lead through deceit?

But this poses a question in my mind: How can I be sure that my actions are Yahweh's and not my way? Where is the line? Where do our actions stop and God's directions take over? Is there even a line? Where do our dreams end and God's plans begin?

This question (or questions) carries a lot of relevance for me right now as I desperately want to leave the job I am currently in. I look for new listings online every week and check the local paper, but nothing has captured my eye. Should I be applying for positions that don't sound appealing because it might be different than I think it will? But I don't want to settle for just anything. And I don't think that just sitting around waiting for God to plop something into my lap is entirely right either. So how can I make sure that I'm following God's will His way and not my own? I want to choose Yahweh...not my way.

This is the only answer I have right now...
"Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4

Can I Hear an Amen..?

Finally, I have discovered that I am not alone in this place called Nashville. Saturday night I went to a gathering of the "20somethings" from New River Fellowship, the church I've been attending. What a neat group of people! And they seem to have an amazing group dynamic! There was fellowship with food, worship and prayer. And everyone was very welcoming. I met wonderful people with whom I hope to develop new friendships- not that they could ever take the place of all of you whom I love so dearly! This opportunity did give me a new glimmer of hope that was desperately needed. Now I can tarry on for another day...

The Power of Books...

Have you ever had a book that you were so completely enthralled by that you couldn't stop thinking about it, replaying the images it conjured over and over again in your mind? Well, I currently have two and it is causing quite the dilemma. Recently, I have had an insatiable appetite for reading novels, some of which are probably of a questionable nature, and I just can't stop. As soon as I finish one, I immediately pick up the next! One series I started reading just last week and I'm already on the third book- and these are 450 page novels or longer. This third book is one part of my dilemma. You see, I like to read during my lunch breaks in my car, as it distracts my mind from the duldrums of my job. But, I didn't think this book was the kind of book I wanted to read during those times; it's much more of an at-home-by-yourself type book. So, I brought another book with me to read during my repose and have found it to be just as exhilarating as the other. And sometimes, while reading over lunch, I have to stop in an akward place so I'm not late returning. I'm so enraptured by both stories (and my mind has played them up during the workday)that I can't decide which to read when I get home. I've been choosing merely on the merit of which has the most activity occuring at the time. And so I begin to read, forgetting dinner or television, and just read. Time flies and when I finally look up long enough to register the time displayed on the nearest clock I realize that four hours have gone by in seemingly a blink of an eye. It's past my bedtime, but I still can't stop. I must keep reading. My heart is pounding in my ears, my excited shallow breathing causes my muscles to tense, adrenaline is coursing through my veins, my pulse quickens...how could anyone sleep at a time like this! I've been hypnotized by the symbols on each page and I don't even realize that the sun has gone down...

AHHH...I feel like screaming!!!

Wrote this blog last week and just didn't publish it, but it's holding true still now, so I thought I'd share. Hopefully I'm not coming off as whiny or complaining because that was not my intention...
So, I'm going to come right out and say it because I don't care anymore who knows... I do NOT like my new job in Nashville! I've never been more bored in my life! I've never worked in a more disorganized place. I've never been treated in such a disrespectful and demeaning manner. And I'm tired of being the pawn in the middle of the power struggle between other people in the office! Somebody get me outta here!
I also found out several weeks ago that my old job in WDM was open (though I'm not sure if it is now). I cannot even begin to tell you how tempting that has sounded. I have so many people that I love that are there. I had the most amazing boss anyone could ever hope for. I actually enjoyed my job. And the weirdest thing- there are actually things about Iowa that I miss. One that has hit me hard lately is thunderstorms. They get them in Nashville, but they are infrequent and mild. I LOVE thunderstorms.
I know God brought me here. I am not doubting that He has a purpose in bringing me here. And I am trying to keep this situation before Him in prayer at all times. But I am tired of the constant, day-by-day battle. He has promised victory, but how do you hang on in the mean time? And with my entire support system approximately 650 miles away, what's a girl to do? Except maybe vent on her blog...

Flashback...

This weekend I went to the theatre to see Pirates 3. My opinions on this movie match relatively closely with critics and friends alike, so I'm not going to get into that. But while I was getting settled in my seat, a preview for Transformers came on. Seeing this flashed me back to my senior year of college...

I had a friend, Dave. We had been friends for almost four years. We had a lot of fun together goofing around, hanging out, talking about cars... That fall, I had a job at the mall and he would come visit me almost once a week. During my breaks, we would walk down the mall talking about just about everything. Many times, we would end up in Gadzooks to view the new shirts that were out. This was about the time that all the 80s stuff we had grown up with was coming back onto the scene: Care Bears, GI Joe, Rainbow Brite, Hee-Man, Transformers, etc. We used to laugh and reminisce about what we watched and played with as kids, we had lots of fun! Well, we discovered we had both loved Transformers as kids. That May, when the time came for me to graduate and move from the area, Dave gave me a very special present. He gave me a Megatron shirt. And not just any shirt- it's one of those silky polyester shirts that look like the comic has been painted right onto the material all over the shirt. I loved it and love it still as it hangs in my closet awaiting for those times I deem special enough to wear it.

Well, a very special opportunity for the shirt is quickly approaching as the new movie opens July 4. Don't know if I'll make it to the midnight showing, but I can guarantee you I will be in the theatre sometime that week! It seems odd that I won't be going to see it with Dave - we talked about the idea of a Transformers movie so many times! Unfortunately, we lost touch after I moved away. Dave, if you're around, let me know. It doesn't seem right to see this movie without you, yet I also know I would be in trouble with you if I didn't see it. Well, when the time comes, you will be on my mind as I view it...

Oh, PS: If you haven't seen Pirates yet, and hadn't heard, be sure to stay until the end of the credits for the final scene.

Love Y'all!

I found IT on...

Uh-Oh! I just might be hooked. I have opened myself an eBay account and have even made my first purchase. Well...I should say purchases, as I actually have acquired 3 prints from an art dealer. I must say, it was all a bit overwhelming and I was a bit trepidatious as I hovered over the "commit" button. But, now that the process is over, I'm very excited about my new pieces. Of course, they are only inexpensive prints. The responsibility of owning a real masterpiece is beyond my abilities.


This is a Robert Doisneau, Calvary on Champs de Mars. I have one other Doisneau, so this should add nicely to my hopefully blossoming collection.



I have quite a few Monet prints that currently grace my bedroom walls. This is one (Houses of Parliament) that has been a little elusive in the acquiring of a decent print, but I think this one looks quite good. Can anyone name the Pierce Brosnan movie that brought this painting superfluous popularity?



This is a Marc Chagall. I found his works while surfing the web and there are some that mesmerize me- including this The Blue Circus. I hope to add several more, but will wait until I can find quality prints at decent prices.

Now, I just need to purchase frames and find wall space for these...

Insanity...an answer to any problem!

Dear Friends and Family,
If you are reading this, please don't worry about me for I have concocted a plan of provision for many years to come. I have decided to allow the insanity to set in and infest my being. I will be placed in a nice, clean home with padded walls. I will be fed three meals a day along with plenty of "happy" pills to help me forget everything I'm missing. If I'm good enough, I should be able to keep this up for many years, maintaining my comfortable status.

Alright, so maybe I am joking...like you couldn't figure it out. But lately I have felt like I am going insane, mainly from boredom at work. I don't understand not working, I don't understand being held back. It's causing me to question my sanity. That's all I can say here...

But tonight, starting at 7 pm (central), I will not be bored! Though I am appx. 650 miles away, I will be connected in spirit to people I love through the art of reality television, known as Survivor! I don't know how I ever got hooked on the show- sometimes I've wondered if Karla or Jennifer slipped me something in the food they made :) Whatever the reason, I'm grateful. Every Thursday I feel surrounded by so much love, even though I am alone, because I know they are doing the same thing I am and offering up prayers for all the members of our Survivor Family. So, tonight will be grand and will definitely (as always) be the hightlight of my week!

To all my friends and family: I very much miss you all and send my love with lots of air hugs!

Finally...!

Well, here it is. I'm finally getting in the long blog with photos that I've been promising for so long. Can you believe I've been in Nashville for over two months now? I can't. I don't have tons of news, so I suppose it will mainly be photos, But, prepare yourself anyway- clear those thoughts and moisten those eyes, it might be a long ride...
First my apartment. It's not bad. It's small but it's clean (well, sort of). It's noisy, especially with all the pets around. Cats serenading anyone willing to listen during the night. Dogs barking to let you know that the wind is stirring the leaves again. Oh, and don't forget the car alarms that seem to go off just as you're falling asleep. I think it all bothers me more than it should mainly because I've been spoiled the last couple of years with the wonderful place that Kalee and I shared in Urbandale. But all in all, it's a good place.

This is the view from my porch door. Or at least it was a few weeks ago when the trees were in bloom. Now there's just leaves that are half brown from the Dogwood Winter we had in March. For those of you who don't know (I didn't until someone told me) a Dogwood Winter is a blast of freezing temperatures that happens after the Dogwood trees are already in bloom.

This is my new couch. It's a soft Charcoal gray microsuede. I love it! It's very cozy and I can lounge on it anyway I want to and I'm always comfortable. I have recently purchased two rich navy blue pillows for it of a similar material. They match some of my pictures. Oh, and the coffee table- I drove to Atlanta, GA, to IKEA and purchased that, carried it into my apartment and put it together all by myself. For not being handy, I thought I did a pretty good job. The dresser was actually harder (see later photo).

This is the rest of my living room- my fireplace and mantel. I've added more picutres, in a sort of collage in front of my fireplace on the floor. I sorta ran out of wall space. Following is a closer view of my mantel.


This is a picutre of a picture. When my parents came to visit over Easter, we were shopping in the Cool Springs Galleria and my parents decided I needed a nice picture for over my sofa. I know it's hard to tell with the glare, but it goes with everything perfectly. They practically forced me to get it. Sorry, Mom and Dad if you're reading this, but you have to admit that- I said no several times and it wasn't until you said you'd pay for it did I agree. :)

This is my dining room and kitchen.

This is my new bed- nice and comfy!

This is my new washer & dryer. I can't describe how weird it feels to purchase something like this. It made me feel older and like I had to be responsible now. But I absolutely love having them. I can do a load of laundry anytime I like and don't have to worry about waiting to pile it all together to take it to a laundry mat.
Well, a couple of weeks ago I went on my first trip for work- I escorted a band that was taking a trip to Chicago. They didn't play anywhere, in fact they didn't even bring their instruments; it was just a trip for fun. And I think they did have fun. We went downtown mostly. I've always liked Chicago. And it felt great to be in the Midwest again. I understand people here- not just how they talk, but how they think. I can't explain it, but Southerners just have a different way of looking at things sometimes. The band I was escorting was from Alabama. Now, in the two months I have been in Nashville, I haven't even begun to pick up a Southern accent- there's enough people around that don't speak with one or with only a gentle hint of an accent that it's been easy to ignore. But the five days I was with the band from Alabama- I was speaking like someone who's lived there for years. Their accents were so strong that I couldn't help but pick it up while I was with them. But now that I haven't heard it for a couple of weeks again, I have resorted to my typical Midwestern accent- which according to my boss is strong, but not a true Midwestern accent. She says I have hints of other speech as well, I guess so...whatever. So, here's the trip:

This is T-Rex Sue from the Field Museum of Natural History. I'm glad I haven't seen Night at the Museum yet, otherwise I might have been scared that Sue would step off her mount and chase me around the museum.

This is one of the elephants on display. I really wanted to take a picture from the other side and come up with something witty to say, but I figured it would end up coming across crass, so I thought better of it.

This is a South American tribal statue. I just liked it. Not that I would want one of my own, but I found it interesting.


This is Wrigley Field. It was freezing cold the day we were there, but completely worth it!


This is my favorite player, but not just because he's good. I like sharing a name with a Cub's player. I really wanted to get his jersey, cause then maybe I could claim some special connection, but it didn't work out. Too bad. (If you didn't realize, it's Derrick Lee.)

I really enjoy baseball. But I will admit, it's much more fun to see the game in person than on TV. Oh, and while there I had a hotdog. How could I not. It would be like going to Hershey, PA and not eating chocolate!



These are views of the city from the Skydeck at the Sears Tower. I've been up there and I must say, I enjoy visiting it. First, the whoosh through your veins as one of the fastest elevators in the world rushes you towards the top. Then the view (on a clear day of course) is incredible. I love seeing the city from a bird's viewpoint. I like to see how many places I can recognize and point out to others.



These are of Hard Rock Cafe' in Chicago. I enjoy fun restaurants like that, even when I've been a patron before. I also added to my and my dad's glass collections. I also purchased a guitar pin to go on my leather bag- I think it was a nice addition.


Big Trains, little trains...lots of trains at the Museum of Science and Industry.

I liked this train set- it's a miniature of Chicago.

This was an incredible set, it had bridges, villges and even mountains. Unfortunately, my picture doesn't do it justice.

My favorite part of the Museum of Science and Industry was Yesterday's Main Street. Thisis a lantern that was burning with real fire.



These are storefronts (they're yellow from a setting on my camera to reduce the glare from the glass). My favorite was the corset shop, though I never would have wanted to wear one myself. They look acutely uncomfortable.


Planes, robots and more...oh my!



These are views of Lake Michigan off of Navy Pier. I like lighthouses. They seem to be shrouded in mystery.


We took the band on an evening dinner cruise. The food was good, the entertainment was fun, but the view of the night skyline of Chicago was breathtaking! I realize the pictures are a little blurry- sorry about that. But I still wanted to share them.
Well, that's all the pictures I have to share right now. I hope you enjoyed them. They took a lot of work putting them all in here. If anyone knows of any shortcuts, please let me know.
I've been sitting in Panera for several hours over two days now. While here, my godparents called. They were driving through Nashville on their way home to Nebraska after spending 6 months in Florida. They stopped and we visited for awhile. It's always great to see a friendly face! Nancy, while sitting here with me, made several calls to track down a lady that she knew from her youth that lives here. She finally got ahold of her and had me talk with her. She seemed very nice and extremely friendly. Especially with getting a call out of the blue from someone you haven't spoken to in years and then to be handed off to someone you didn't even know existed. Nancy wanted me to connect with her because she believed this lady could help me with career connections and other things. She gave me some great ideas and helpful tips. I find it interesting, since being here in Nashville, all the connections I've made have all been with people quite a bit older than me. I think the closest to my age is at least 12 years older than me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this; I would prefer a varied group of acquaintances. But at the same time, I would really like to connect with some people my own age. People I could hang out with. I know it will happen, I'm not worried. Just growing a bit impatient.
I've been planning some day trips to take this summer. A lady I work with has suggested some little places to visit that are no more than a couple hours away. Some places will take money, so those I might wait on. Most, though, were just a place to drive to and walk around. If anyone comes for a visit, I would love to take them on one of these adventures- just a little incentive for anyone who may be toying with the idea.
Well, before I go. I have to ask a favor from my beloved friends and family. I believe more changes are coming my way...not that I haven't had more than my share lately. But I could use some prayer support. Call or email if you want more details- my blog is a little too public.
It's been great hearing from so many of you. I beg you to keep the emails coming. I'm trying to reply to as many as I can as quickly as I can. I love you all and miss you all!