What do you Mean I have to share...?

By most technicalities, I grew up as an only child. Though I have a brother and sister now (whom I love dearly and wouldn't trade for anything), I spent many years by myself and never really learned to share. This trait has followed me throughout my life, even into adulthood. Of course I have been aware of it and have tried to compensate for it. But I find that I tend to sway between the extremes. I either want my way or I refuse to give an opinion. The only time I've shared a room was my freshman year at college. I did have a roommate for awhile post-college, but we had a large place and each had our own areas. I am happy to lend a DVD or book, but it better not be for very long and you better be sure to return my copy to me. And don't get me started on sharing the bathroom...

Now that I am on my own again (ie, no roommate), my non-sharing, my-way-or-highway attitude has gained strength and seems to be growing yet. I've been toying with the idea of a roommate again just to help with costs, but consistently find myself turning down prospects because I would have to store some of my stuff and share space. I have some friends that have been spending time with others (without me) and I get jealous because I want them all to myself. There is even the possibility (a strong possibility) that I have had reservations about intimate relationships just because I might have to share part of my life and existence with them.

I may forever be a loner. It's not that I don't know how to share; it just causes me great pain and energy to do it. Could I but snap my fingers and be a different person... but alas, I think I may just like this part of me...

Then again, maybe I just need to grow up.

A Year...

It is 2008. Supposedly the year of new beginnings- or so people have been telling me. Can a year actually "be" something? Can a year be good, bad, or whatever? I'm not so sure that a year can take on one quality. By doing so, are you not ignoring all the days, hours, moments that don't fit that quality? I was trying to qualify my 2007 during a conversation with some friends. The first words that popped into my head were hard, lonely. But not every day was difficult, in fact there were some wonderful days. And not every day was I alone. So, as each year that has come before, 2007 was a year of many things. Some good, some not so good, some down-right awful and some absolutely wonderful... I believe 2008 will also be a year of many things. Adventures that are yet to come...

Nous appellerons émotion une chute brusque de la conscience dans le magique.
We will call emotion the sudden plunge of consciousness into magic.
--Jean-Paul Sartre

J'ai vu un ange dans le marbre et j'ai ciselé jusqu'à l'en libérer.
I saw the angel in the marble and I carved until I set him free.
-–Michelangelo
(Both quoted on French-Word-A-Day)

What's in a Name...?

Below are two blogthing results. The first is for my real name- Heather. Pretty accurate, if you know me at all. The second is my new name given to me by my new Other family (see blog below)- Heidi. Also pretty accurate and a lot the same. Interesting...? I think so!

What Heather Means

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless - and you have a lot of questions about life. You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You're most comfortable when you're far away from home. You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble. You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something. You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense. You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

What Heidi Means

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out. Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia. Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person. You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together. You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row. You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace. People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Would you agree?
Test your name... How does it measure up?