By most technicalities, I grew up as an only child. Though I have a brother and sister now (whom I love dearly and wouldn't trade for anything), I spent many years by myself and never really learned to share. This trait has followed me throughout my life, even into adulthood. Of course I have been aware of it and have tried to compensate for it. But I find that I tend to sway between the extremes. I either want my way or I refuse to give an opinion. The only time I've shared a room was my freshman year at college. I did have a roommate for awhile post-college, but we had a large place and each had our own areas. I am happy to lend a DVD or book, but it better not be for very long and you better be sure to return my copy to me. And don't get me started on sharing the bathroom...
Now that I am on my own again (ie, no roommate), my non-sharing, my-way-or-highway attitude has gained strength and seems to be growing yet. I've been toying with the idea of a roommate again just to help with costs, but consistently find myself turning down prospects because I would have to store some of my stuff and share space. I have some friends that have been spending time with others (without me) and I get jealous because I want them all to myself. There is even the possibility (a strong possibility) that I have had reservations about intimate relationships just because I might have to share part of my life and existence with them.
I may forever be a loner. It's not that I don't know how to share; it just causes me great pain and energy to do it. Could I but snap my fingers and be a different person... but alas, I think I may just like this part of me...
Then again, maybe I just need to grow up.
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1 comment:
My expierence is just the opposite... I am a twin and we shared a room. Then I got married in college so the only time that I didn't have a roommate was a total of two semesters in college.
Living alone to me would be strange.
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