Life on a rollercoaster...

Lately, I have felt as though I am riding a rollercoaster. I know everyone's lives feel this way at times, but mine has been extreme, tiresome and especially irksome recently. I would enjoy a good dose of steadiness. My high points, naturally, crest on the weekends as I'm with friends and acquaintances that lift my spirits and keep me active. My low points dip lower and lower throughout the week as I dredge through work and empty nights.
Last week I was taken for a loop. Holiday family issues arose as we were planning my trip home for Thanksgiving. Although, this should not be a surprise. But then, as my grandpa celebrated his 74th birthday, he was taken to the hospital because he couldn't breathe. He is still there. They have run a battery of tests and have not found anything concrete. He is still unable to breathe properly on his own. On top of that, the hospital can't seem to regulate his diabetes. It almost seems they are hurting him more than helping him. My grandpa and I are very close. And I can't be there with him.
I suppose I should be enjoying my rollercoaster. They are meant to be exciting. I suppose if I had the steadiness I now desire I would feel as though I were stagnant. The grass is always greener...isn't it.

L'espérance est le songe d'un homme éveillé.
Hope is the dream of a waking man. –Aristotle
(Quote listed on French Word-A-Day)

I just might stay...

I took a major step (for me) in establishing myself in the community last night. I got a library card. And this has brought a new weight of responsibility. I am now a resident of Davidson County and in the neighborhood of the Edmonson branch. Of course I do already have a Tennessee driver's license and Tennessee plates and am registered to vote here. But my anonymity had stayed intact. I didn't feel anonymous anymore after last night. I felt eyes peering at me around every corner. Felt them boring straight through my pretense. I was uncomfortable, to say the least. I know, I know...it sounds ridiculous. Of course, no one was really paying attention to me beyond the occasional glance as I moved past them. Yet, I still couldn't shake the feeling of being naked in a room full of people. So, I suppose if I'm going to expose myself to the local populace, I might as well stay.

To leave off with a quote, something befitting (quoted on French-Word-A-Day blog):
...quelquefois...mon esprit joue, et quelquefois je ris et fais la moue...
...sometimes...my mind plays, and sometimes I laugh and pull a face (pout)...
--from "Oeuvres de Scarron," by Paul Scarron