Thursday, December 27, 2007

My Other Family & a Grinch's Heart...

Psalm 68:6a God places the lonely in families;

This verse was quoted to me by two different friends in the past couple weeks. God was preparing me, showing me His promise before fulfilling it. That doesn't happen very often. Most of the time, I only see the promise in hindsight. Perhaps that's my own lack of insight. Perhaps He's trying to show me each time and I've been too self-focused to see it. But I wished I would have paid more attention.

Anyway, onto my story...

In the weeks leading up to Christmas, I will admit that I've felt a bit Grinchy. My heart may even have shrunk. (Ironically, it's my favorite Christmas show.) Knowing that for the first time in twenty-eight years I was not going to be spending Christmas with my family put me in a dour mood. And though I had received an invitation for Christmas Day, I was still moping and wishing Christmas would just pass me by this year.

Christmas Eve started out as just another day. Ran some errands, started some house-cleaning, talked on the phone... And as always time slipped away. I had been waiting for some ingredients for a dessert I was making for Christmas dinner to warm to room temperature, as the recipe insists. I realized it was time to get ready and go to church, for I had been asked to help corral the kids before the service. Rushing out the door, I realized I was heading to a Christmas Eve service. And I didn't really want to go. I didn't want to think about Christmas. So, after helping with the kids, I hung out in the back of the auditorium watching the activity on stage, but not really partaking. Then came the candle-lighting. I politely turned down a candle, just watching as people passed the flame on to each of the people next to them. Then our pastor's son shoves a candle in my hand and lights the wick before I can protest. Though this act made me smile, it still did not help this Grinch's heart to grow.

Afterwards, I was preparing to quietly slip out the door. Just wanted to double-check dinner plans for Christmas day. But Jeanne, whose home I would be invading the next day, insisted that I come to their home that night as well. In fact, she was going to ride with me. So, I went. And I will admit, I had a good time just sitting around the table and talking. Perhaps my heart warmed a bit that night, but it was to all come crashing down.

The next morning, Christmas day, after only about five hours of sleep, I awoke and continued with my desserts for dinner that evening. Called my family, of course, and listened in as they opened their gifts and tasted our traditional breakfast of Monkey Bread and cocoa. After hanging up the phone, I went back to preparing the desserts. And it all fell apart. Literally. As I was removing cakes from pans, objects from the fridge, you name it, it fell and broke or bruised me or burnt me or whatever. I lost it. This was a miserable, horrible day and I wanted to crawl back in bed and make it disappear. I fell to the side of my bed, tears freely flowing, cries of anger and despair radiating from my mind. Nothing was going well and I was not where I wanted or felt I needed to be. I contemplated calling Tom & Jeanne and canceling. I was not a person anyone wanted to be around that day.

But, God was there. He quieted my heart and spoke words of kindness to me. He reminded me of the verse written above and I knew I needed to go. Standing up, I dried my eyes and went back into the kitchen and set about remaking what I could and patching up the rest.

I arrived to their house mid-afternoon. The day went quickly from there with games of pool, a scrumptious meal, and wonderful conversation. (And a quick phone call from a dear friend.) Jonny, Tom & Jeanne's son, and I easily fell into bantering each other as though we were siblings. Friendship and love was passed along to all from all. And the evening ended with a game of Scattergories that brought roaring laughter that knocked us out of our seats and caused tears to stream down our faces. I had not felt part of a family since moving to Nashville since mine (both my actual family and my DM family) is so far away. But this family welcomed me as part of their own. And for that I am forever grateful.

It will not be a Christmas I quickly forget. For this Grinch's heart grew more than just two sizes that day. It sprung forth with joy and love that had been forgotten. For each time we are lonely, God does just as He promises. He places us in families. They may be a bit unconventional, perhaps a hodgepodge of characters. But if we look around us, they are there. Each one needed for a particular time in life, some to carry us throughout. To each of my families, including my newest other family, I wish you all Love this Merry Christmas & a Blessed New Year!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

how amazing beautiful is that?
i love it!
and i love you.
a belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!