Blog thoughts & other thoughts...

You might have noted some subtle changes to my blog, including the title. Well those changes came around when I decided to Google the title of my blog to see how far down the list it was. (The little things I do to entertain myself at work...) What came up were WAY TOO MANY blogs named "Notes from Nashville"! I don't like to be like everyone else. I wanted something unique! So, after much deliberating and the creation (and obviously obliteration) of several ideas, I settled on my title matching my address. Afterall, it is logical. And when I googled it, the only thing that really came up was some obscure intimation to a poem.

The stars were only because I liked them.

As I was making these changes, I realized that I hadn't really blogged about what's been happening with me lately. Of course, I've talked about what I've done or where I've gone, what things I've acquired or knowledge gained. But I haven't shared about me. So, here it goes... my attempt to dig a little deeper and perhaps expose some dirty corners...

DISCLAIMERs: Thoughts may be random or not fully explained. Rabbit trails may ensue. All thoughts may not be suitable for children.

As I look at a picture of a duck on my desk (supposed to be serving as a reminder to let things roll off my back like water off the back of a duck), I want to say life is just ducky. But I don't fully know what that means or if I could really call it that. If it implies that life is good, I would have to ask you what your definition of "good" was. There are good things and there are not so good things. I try to focus on the good, but there are definitely days that the not so good overwhelm me. Unfortunately, especially lately, there seem to be more of those days. Many times when I've looked over the past few months, the image that has come to mind is of a hamster in a ball on a treadmill. I'm running and running but not actually getting anywhere.

Patience is a virtue that I generally lack. About a year ago, I remember praying for patience. Be careful what you wish for. God is teaching me patience. I want results now for the things I've been praying for and searching for. He still says I need to wait. I hate waiting...

I am learning to accept my circumstances whatever they may be, however frustrating. You never know the purpose they may hold later on. You can never be sure whom God has anointed to play a certain role. Even those that may throw spears at you... (Gene Edwards, A Tale of Three Kings)

I have decided that I really want a tattoo. Actually, this is not a recent phenomenom, I've wanted one for many years. In fact, I've been fascinated with them ever since I saw my uncle's marine bulldog on his arm when I was a little girl. I think I know what I want, I'm just not quite sure where to put it...

There is a pastor at the church I'm attending. In fact he teaches the Bible study I'm in. He is an incredible guy. I think we think on similar wave lengths, except his is so much higher than mine. I wish I could crawl around in his brain for awhile. I believe there are vast storages of knowledge yet to be tapped.

I have come to understand the full meaning of the word tired- or at least I think I have. Because I'm not just physically tired. I'm physically exhausted (not sleeping well does that to you), but I'm also mentally drained, emotionally played out and spiritually debilitated. I "do" so much less than I used to, and seem to have so much less to give. Maybe the ol' adage is true: The more you give the more you receive...?

I think I am learning the meaning of "all or nothing". When God says to lay our burdens down, He doesn't just mean one or two- He means EVERYTHING! And if you say, "Here I am. Send me." That doesn't mean just part of you- that means ALL of you.

I miss music. Truly hearing it. Performing it. Experiencing it.

There is a rebel that lives inside of me. I've always known of her existence. Most of the time I try to keep her locked up and squelch her influence. Sometimes she breaks free and wreaks havoc on the order in my life. I wish there was a way for them to happily co-exist. For neither to be squelched or held back. For both to live to their fullest potential. I'm not talking about ultimate evil versus good, just a bit of rebellion with the heavenlee...